This year Halloween looked a little bit different, not bad, just different. Remember, don’t fear change, different isn’t always scary, sometimes its magical. Halloween was much quieter than in the past, but in some ways it was just what we needed. Holidays are not easy after losing a loved one and this one was no exception. Gram (Steve’s mom) loved holidays and she certainly loved spending them with her grandchildren.
We carved pumpkins, watched football, spent some time with two of their grandpas and enjoyed an evening with friends. It really was a wonderful day.
Before I get into details on all our Halloween fun, I wanted to take a moment and be real with you. I had a breakdown on Saturday morning. Not sure where it came from, but it happened, I finally broke. It’s not like me, I am usually able to get things done and put a smile on my face in the process. Fake it, till you make it. Seriously, I broke to the point of tears, they just kept coming, I couldn’t pull it together. Not my favorite moment, but you know what my girls were amazing. They hugged me and loved me, just like I do for them. They told me it’s okay Mommy we all have those days. It goes to show, our children learn what they live.
I guess this break down came from trying to make life perfect for EVERYONE, especially throughout this chaotic year, trying to keep life as “normal” as possible for my girls and hubby, yet secretly dying inside, secretly wasting away day by day, bit by bit and then I finally crashed. I know this is all on me and I know I try to be strong and carryon all on my own.
I am not writing this for sympathy or pity, I am writing this because I know so many people think I always have it all together, that I never lose it. Well, I don’t and honestly I never want for my life to come across in that way. Yes, Steve and I have created quite the life together, one that we love, one that we can’t imagine any other way. We feel blessed each and everyday.
Over the past 11 years of motherhood I have figured out how to make life quite seamless, how to make our days go without a hiccup are days are pretty smooth over here. I have learned a trick or two along the way, but we all have our breaking point and lose it from time to time. I think it’s important to talk about this. I know this breakdown came from that fact that Steve has been working a lot lately, my mom has been out of town and isn’t due back for another 10 days and life is just so uncertain right now. In the end, I think everything just added up and I lost it. Well, I guess it goes to show we cannot do it all, we are all human, even us moms. No one is perfect. This is out reminder to give ourselves some grace, to love ourselves through these times struggle.
Okay, back to Halloween. Our day started with some snuggling and a Christmas movie. Yes, we watched a Christmas movie on Halloween, scary movies really aren’t our thing. Either way, we loved starting our morning with some family time. We had donuts for breakfast, might as well have all the sugar on Halloween. Some days we eat all our greens, exercise and drink water, other days we eat all the sugar and simply chill. Balance.
Life is all about balance. In times of instability is when our universe gets thrown off.
We spent our afternoon carving pumpkins (nothing like waiting until last minute). This year the girls pretty much carved their pumpkins all on their own, it was a breath of fresh air and the pumpkins looked absolutely perfect. I loved watching them light up with pride at their own hard work.
We had a fun afternoon seeing my dad and Steve’s stepdad. It was just a great day, I can’t say enough good things about our time together, simple yet full of love. As I sit here and think about Saturday I cannot stop smiling, it brings joy to my heart.
Our evening was spent with friends, who feel like family. They came over for dinner, trick or treating and candy eating, of course. In previous years, we always had quite the party, but with everything that happened this year it just didn’t feel right. However, I truly believe this year, our Halloween was just what we needed, everything happens for a reason. Now, if only we can convince our friends to move into our sub. 😉
Well that’s a rap, now onto Christmas…
I am not forgetting Thanksgiving we just don’t celebrate it here at home, so might as well bask in the warmth of Christmas a little bit longer.
I do love Thanksgiving, I love taking time to truly focus on those we love. I love showing extra gratitude for all the things we have in our life.