but I really try to be and it’s not a good thing.
We do we hold ourselves to higher standards then everyone else. I always preach about how perfection is not possible, yet I expect myself to be perfect. The perfect body (what is that anyway?), the perfect mom, wife, blogger, business women, etc. Why oh why do we do this to ourselves. And when I get off track from any or all of those things boy oh boy do I beat myself up for days, weeks, months, even years. Yes, I hold grudges toward myself, but no one else. Those that know me know I am always the first to forgive and forget; hey everyone makes mistakes, is fighting a tough battle. But for some reason I don’t let myself use any of those reasons. I must be perfect ALL the time. I am not allowed to mess up. I am not allowed to veer off my path. It’s exhausting, but of course I never let my exhaustion get the best of me.
Today, I’m going to share y terrible, no good, very bad day with all of you.
It all began at 8:15am on May 27th (my 30th birthday) when we are pulling out to take Sophia to school. This happened:
I was scrapped the side of my car on my garage (and actually took off part of the fender). See, for the past week we had mulch in our driveway which forced me to park and pull out of our garage differently. So, Wednesday morning was the first day I was parked normal, yet I pulled out the way I had been doing for days and guess what? That didn’t work.
When I jumped out of the car I quickly saw the enormous amount of damage I had done. So, I reluctantly called my hubby, of course as I was bawling and he was the sweetest most kind man ever (I’m not sure if it was because it was my birthday or the tears, but none the less he was AMAZING). As soon as I hung up with him I called my mom and she was my perfect mom; someone had to take Sophia to school.
The day went on and I just couldn’t stop the tears. I just kept thinking about the mistake I made and I couldn’t believe I could be so stupid (or as we say in our house silly; we don’t use the word stupid). How oh how did that happen? What was I thinking? Really?
My amazing mom said, “no one was hurt and that’s what matters”. She is right!! The car can be fixed, but all my girls are okay. This little accident showed me how compassionate my girls are. On a day to day basis I don’t always see it, but man when the going gets tough I am glad they are always with me. My girls are amazing. They took care of the Mama better then anyone.
Well, my minivan is still in the shop. Hopefully, it will be fixed my Friday, but I’m not very confident about that yet. Right now I am driving Steve’s Jeep and he is driving my grandma’s car. So, we are making it work, but all 6 of us cannot drive together until the van gets fixed. Wow, I guess you know you have a big family when you only fit in large vehicles. 🙂
I really appreciate your stories, even the not so good days. I can relate to this story, a couple years ago, I was backing out of my driveway at home so my mom could leave and I hit the neighbors trash can and saw something go flying. I parked in the street and got out of the car and immediately saw that I broke one of the brake light covers. No one was home and I started crying and then called my boyfriend asking him how I could fix this. He calmed me down (as he always does) explained it wasn’t a big deal and sent me a link to an auto part site where I ordered a replacement. My parents are a bit oblivious so they didn’t even seem to notice until the day the part arrived in the mail and asked what it was. I felt so embarrassed about it but was glad it was a trash can (which had no damage of course) and no one was hurt. My dad was able to help me put in the new part and since then I am so so careful of backing up. I was hardly going 5 mph out of the driveway so it amazed me that it is so delicate. Please don’t beat yourself up about this. No one is perfect as much as we try to be. Besides, if we were perfect, life would be less interesting.
Thank you!! After this happened I realized more and more people did silly things like that. Thank you for sharing. 🙂