Let’s Get Real About Yelling

My grandma says I never yell, my mom says I am very calm, but I feel as though I do it all the time (I am generally quite calm, but lately I have been off. Lots of emotional changes going on these days). Especially, now that school has started. We now have time crunches and schedules to keep.  Yesterday I made a pledge to my daughters and myself. We are changing this behavior TODAY!! I hate the way I feel after I yell and I literally hate myself. I get this awful feeling in my stomach and can’t take it. Then I spend the rest of the day and the next day making it up to my girls. Which means I am overly sweet; I try to make up for my bad behavior. But it all changes today. The typical times when frusterated mommy comes out are when I am overwhelmed and stressed. Which lately has been all the time (I hate to say it, but before McKenzie and McKayla came into our lives; yes things got a little hectic, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am simply going to adapt.). So, I have decided I am coming up with a plan. A goal without a plan is just a distant dream. A goal with a plan is achievable.

My Goals:

1. Get our routines organized. Now that Sophia has started school I need different systems in place for our new schedules. One thing I always do is have a bag of snacks packed. If I used a snack on an outing, I replace it as soon as I get home (this bag is always ready). But I know our closet and shoe system by our garage (our main entrance and exit) is not working. I need to fix it. I spend way too much time finding shoes. I need to figure out a system for school papers. I need to figure out a way to organize our dance and gymnastic gear.

2. We already choose Sophia and Isabella’s outfits the night before and that is a big help. Take it from me deciding what they are going to wear can take FOREVER!! I even try to decide what I am going to wear. I have learned eliminating anything that has to be done in the morning is a huge help.

3. I have noticed that on morning when I eat before the girls wake up our mornings are so much smoother. Our best mornings are when I have a protein shake right after working out and then I don’t eat again until we get back form getting Sophia on the bus. Whatever works, right?

4. This goes along with making our mornings smoother. I need to make sure I have our batter prepared the night before. Typically if I wait and try to make up pancake batter in the morning during this process all hell breaks loose. Seriously, everyone wants to eat right away. Then someone needs something to drink and then someone wants this and that. Oh my!!

5. Focus on Sophia until she gets on the bus. This is something I have to continue to remind myself; this is not easy with four daughters.

6. If I am starting to get frustrated I am going to take a deep breath (like I teach my girls) and  whisper. I know that sounds funny, but I read that if you whisper to your children they listen better. Doesn’t everyone want to hear a secret?

7. I read this one somewhere too. Always look at your children as if you are looking at them for the first time. Try it! This one really works.

8. I have to remember I am doing the best I can and that is what matters. I also have to remember that everything I do is because I love my girls.

I hope this little list helps you during your times of frustration. I want you to know you are not alone. We are all in this together. Being a parent is not easy.

I have to leave you with an adorable quote from Sophia. On our way to gymnastics last week she was talking about be nervous to meet her new coach. I told her that everyone is nervous in new situations and that she will do wonderful!! She then said, “like when I was nervous to meet you. Before I came out of your belly I didn’t know what kind of mom you were going to be. I didn’t know if you would be nice or mean. But you are the nicest so I knew I didn’t have to be scared.” Wow!! I love my little Sophia so very much.