Hi everyone, I hope your week is off to a wonderful start. We have four very excited girls, who are counting down the days until Christmas. However, in our house we are running on empty, our coming break is much needed. We are craving some down time. With that said, we are looking forward to spending time with our family. So many fun things planned in the days to come.
As wonderful and beautiful this time of year is, I feel as though I have been living in a fog. I am just going through the motions. I can’t explain when or why this has happened, but I have lost some of my zest. I’m sure it has to do with the busyness of the season, but I truly don’t like this feeling. I am yearning to feel something, good, bad or otherwise. Right now I am just living in a fog. I know this too shall pass. Especially, once I feel ready for Christmas, which right now I don’t feel ready.
For me it’s simply that I feel a tremendous amount of pressure to give my girls the “perfect” Christmas. Even though I preach and preach there is no such things as perfection, I am always striving for it when it comes to being a mom. In all honesty, I simply want my girls to be happy. I want them to live in a dream for a day. Live in a state of pure bliss. I love watching their excitement, their joy. The light in their eyes is all I need. It’s the only gift I ever need.
The perfectionist in me never feels as though I have done enough. There is always that feeling of I need to do more. I should be everything for everyone. I know it’s not possible, but it’s something I deal with as a mom, wife, daughter, and friend. There is always someone who needs me and needs ALL of me. Usually, more than one person at a time. There is simply not enough of me to go around, but I sure do try to give everything and more. This time of year I feel it more than ever. I feel as though I am being pulled in multiple directions at all times. It’s truly quite exhausting, not always physically, but emotionally.
I share this with not for sympathy, but to share with you that if you feel the same you are not alone. We are in this together. This too shall pass. Take a step back, take a deep breath and know everything is going to be okay. You are enough.
Your kids don’t need the perfect mom, they simply need you.
In all honesty, I almost didn’t hit publish on this post because it’s so raw, so vulnerable, but it’s real. With that, I truly felt the need to share. If I can impact just one person it was all worth it.
We are all imperfectly perfect.