Let’s Get Real About Yelling

My grandma says I never yell, my mom says I am very calm, but I feel as though I do it all the time (I am generally quite calm, but lately I have been off. Lots of emotional changes going on these days). Especially, now that school has started. We now have time crunches and schedules to keep.  Yesterday I made a pledge to my daughters and myself. We are changing this behavior TODAY!! I hate the way I feel after I yell and I literally hate myself. I get this awful feeling in my stomach and can’t take it. Then I spend the rest of the day and the next day making it up to my girls. Which means I am overly sweet; I try to make up for my bad behavior. But it all changes today. The typical times when frusterated mommy comes out are when I am overwhelmed and stressed. Which lately has been all the time (I hate to say it, but before McKenzie and McKayla came into our lives; yes things got a little hectic, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am simply going to adapt.). So, I have decided I am coming up with a plan. A goal without a plan is just a distant dream. A goal with a plan is achievable.

My Goals:

1. Get our routines organized. Now that Sophia has started school I need different systems in place for our new schedules. One thing I always do is have a bag of snacks packed. If I used a snack on an outing, I replace it as soon as I get home (this bag is always ready). But I know our closet and shoe system by our garage (our main entrance and exit) is not working. I need to fix it. I spend way too much time finding shoes. I need to figure out a system for school papers. I need to figure out a way to organize our dance and gymnastic gear.

2. We already choose Sophia and Isabella’s outfits the night before and that is a big help. Take it from me deciding what they are going to wear can take FOREVER!! I even try to decide what I am going to wear. I have learned eliminating anything that has to be done in the morning is a huge help.

3. I have noticed that on morning when I eat before the girls wake up our mornings are so much smoother. Our best mornings are when I have a protein shake right after working out and then I don’t eat again until we get back form getting Sophia on the bus. Whatever works, right?

4. This goes along with making our mornings smoother. I need to make sure I have our batter prepared the night before. Typically if I wait and try to make up pancake batter in the morning during this process all hell breaks loose. Seriously, everyone wants to eat right away. Then someone needs something to drink and then someone wants this and that. Oh my!!

5. Focus on Sophia until she gets on the bus. This is something I have to continue to remind myself; this is not easy with four daughters.

6. If I am starting to get frustrated I am going to take a deep breath (like I teach my girls) and  whisper. I know that sounds funny, but I read that if you whisper to your children they listen better. Doesn’t everyone want to hear a secret?

7. I read this one somewhere too. Always look at your children as if you are looking at them for the first time. Try it! This one really works.

8. I have to remember I am doing the best I can and that is what matters. I also have to remember that everything I do is because I love my girls.

I hope this little list helps you during your times of frustration. I want you to know you are not alone. We are all in this together. Being a parent is not easy.

I have to leave you with an adorable quote from Sophia. On our way to gymnastics last week she was talking about be nervous to meet her new coach. I told her that everyone is nervous in new situations and that she will do wonderful!! She then said, “like when I was nervous to meet you. Before I came out of your belly I didn’t know what kind of mom you were going to be. I didn’t know if you would be nice or mean. But you are the nicest so I knew I didn’t have to be scared.” Wow!! I love my little Sophia so very much.

About Renee

My name is Renee and I am a 30 year old wife and mother to four little girls. Thank you for stopping by my blog. Fit for Motherhood is my journey through motherhood, pregnancy and life in general all while trying my best to be fit and healthy.
This entry was posted in Babies, Fitness, Toddler Tuesday. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Let’s Get Real About Yelling

  1. Mel says:

    Thank you for being so honest… It was exactly what I needed to read after today (I have twin girls also, I don’t know how you do it with 4, you are truly magnificent!)

    • Renee says:

      This was a difficult post to publish, but so worth it. I love being able to keep it real around here, but it is also hard to be to vulnerable. I am glad this post came at the perfect time for you. 🙂 Hang in there Mama!!

  2. Kate says:

    I read this and almost cried with happiness. My mornings are nuts too, and I only have 2 kids, but the older one just started Kindergarten and getting in the right groove is just so tricky for us. I found just a basket of shoes by the closet is helpful. Just toss all the kids shoes in there, and it’s easy for them and easy for you to just toss shoes back in. When the little one is bigger we might do a basket per kid but for now just one basket for all.

    • Renee says:

      I am so glad you can relate. I love the idea of a basket of shoes. Yes, I think a basket of shoes per kid would be terrific!! That is my task for this week. 🙂 Thanks!!

  3. Erin says:

    Oh mama…I know that awful feeling in your gut. Nothing can make me cry more. Right before I had bijou I was carrying so much stress that I lost my temper with octave a handful times and it still makes me cry. We are human. And this truly is the hardest job in the world. I love you and how you mother your girls. Thanks for your honesty. I always appreciate what you have to say, I just don’t always get a chance to comment. Much love to you!

    • Renee says:

      Awe, me too. I cry just thinking about moments I lost it with my girls. That is why I decided I needed to stop immediately. I couldn’t take it any more. My guilt was eating away at me. But after simply deciding I was going to stop. I became more aware about what triggered my stress and our lives have completely changed. 🙂 We hope you see you soon!! xoxo

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